Wednesday, August 20, 2014

July Love + August Update + OPM Playlist!

photo from: Pamela Evangelista
I can't believe we're already 8 months into 2014; it seemed just like yesterday we were going on about what this year had in store for us. . . but anyway, I hope you guys have been having the best 8 months evah, and that your life so far has been as awesome as a Coldplay song (goals, goals). 

So to make up for my almost abandoning this blog, I'll be making this a 3-1 blog post: 

  • July Monthly Favorites
  • Life Update (???)
  • OPM Playlist

    July Highlights: (L to R) Matchy-matchy with @ dequirozazhley in going to the 5SOS Album Launch-Fan Party; St. Benedict's Feast Day celebration shenanigans whoops; Best Muke photo so far in the history of Muke photos and; A really crappy Michael manip I made because I apparently still had time for that. :-)

    Book: Home- The Iliad (not really, ha school related, ha)
    Movie: Catching Fire (I'm late, I know :-( )
    Something school related: St. Benedict's Feast Day celebration 
             Site: Aeropostale on Instagram!
    Article: On The Outside Looking Out by Anna F. (found in Rookie Yearbook Two)
      Food: J.CO (Donuts & Coffee)'s Jacky Chunk
           Drink: Little Corner's Wintermelon Milktea
    Hangout Place: CPK Eastwood
         Youtube Video: I'm a Calum girl so... ;-)


    "You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone-- profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are." - Danielle Laporte

    So far, August has been the most stressful month [for me] this year. That's a pretty bad introduction, but it's true, August [so far] hasn't been "good to me". For the past few weeks, I've been studying and praying like crazy: a stereotype nerd and a super Christian in one. In other words, I've been preparing for my first CET: The UPCAT. It sucked because it was scheduled on the same week as my school's "hell week" and exams so I guess... ;-( Anyway, I'm happy it's over and that school is back on its normal pace. And even if I did crack under pressure, I was able to bounce back thanks to these guys:
    My Stress Busters! (L to R) Reading Rookie Yearbook Two, Hector and The Search For Happiness, and Candy Mag: August 2014 + Receiving Stylesnapmnl's American Apparel-inspired totebag in the mail!; Post-UPCAT meal: the most delicious thang everr; Another Post-UPCAT: chilling out with my twin besties, Jeanele & Nina and; Anything 5SOS-related *heart eyes emoji*
    AND FINALLY! To celeberate the Buwan ng Wika, I have made a mini playlist, featuring one of the coolest OPM and Filipino indie artists and rock bands I could find (more like remember because I forgot to write them down). Enjoy!

    -Andrea xx

    Monday, July 14, 2014

    Looney June! :-)

    image from: tumblr

    It's time for my June favorites! 

    June went by so quickly, but in such a slow pace that I don't really know what happened last month...
    June was such a blur? Is anyone feeling the same way about it? 


    Book: (Still!) Rookie Yearbook Two
    Movie: Cloud Atlas
    Something school related: The fact that it started :-)
             Site: RenĂ©e de Guzman's Instagram feed
    Article: ---
      Food: Napoleones!!!
           Drink: Starbucks Strawberry & Creme Frapp
    Hangout Place: La Creperie (Katipunan)
    Song: Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake- Love Never Felt So Good 
         Youtube Video: T H I S
    Purchase: The 5 Seconds of Summer boxset :-)


    "The purpose of life is not to be happy-- but to matter, to be productive, 
    to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all." - Leo Rosten

    -Andrea xx

    to: a.m from: a.f.

    before i put a free verse below this, i just want to use the excuse that i didn't edit this as tediously as some might think it probably should be; mainly because 1) screw your rules; and 2) it's late and i have a feeling that this might be one of those super honest poems that come out beautifully with the help of stress, tiredness and the this-is-urgent rush. i also want to say that this poem is intended for someone i know. i wrote this for her, because i think she deserves to be happy (just like every single one of us), and it's sad how right now she isn't doing well. i'm hoping that this will wake her up, and that she'll start being who she really, truly is again.

    if you're her, she, the, you (you know who you are): well then hey. :-) i hope you don't get lazy reading this, or that you'll disregard this. i hope that this will help you. i'm. reeeealllly. hoping. this. will. help. youu. 

    and if you're not ^^^ but are feeling the same way, (like you're an ugly and unfortunate human being) then hey :-) read on, i hope you get something out of this. 

    (let's) start with you
    with who you think you are
    with what you see in the mirror when you face it
    with what you think you are labeled as
    with why you hurt yourself in any way so you could feel something
    because every single existent thing has made you numb

    you think you are the underdog
    the dark horse that never got the chance to paint itself white
    the girl in class that never got enough credit in a project
    or the last resort and no one's favorite
    the companion to places but never a friend
    the girl that a boy will never write about because she's not worth it
    the one that's never noticed in a crowd when she's the only one different
    the girl that will only be loved when she's dead
    come on 
    admit it
    sometimes you'd like to kill yourself to see how many people would actually give a sh-

    but here's the thing
    you've gone overboard
    you've made over-thinking a practice of rookies
    you've made yourself a self-proclaimed insecure teen
    you've successfully numbed yourself out while rounding out your edges
    you've dipped yourself in society's blood
    and now you're too confused to function

    and i'd like to tell you why

    you think this way
    because no one got what you said
    no one bothered to read your message 
    so they just deleted it
    no one had a heart like yours to understand why 
    every single pump and beat you put effort into was inconsistent

    you think this way 
    because no seemed to care
    even if they were just next to you 
    sitting on a chair
    even if they were asking you if you were alright
    and you said 'yeah i'm fine'
    even if you were lying and telling the truth at the same time

    well you know what?
    you're not the only one
    who became victim of this crime
    i have become a practitioner of pretending to be what i 
    thought i should be morphing into as well 
    i have been used to feeding myself with my own skin and bones and
    pretending to feel like they're good for me
    i have been stopping myself to becoming confident in all the ways that i could be
    and i too have told things to myself that i never thought i'd be telling myself to

    i have become crazy as well
    i have had my moments of darkness as well

    i would get angry at myself 
    and collect my hair into my fists and pull as hard as i could
    i would tell myself i needed to be checked up 
    by a doctor of mental patients 
    i would throw away a week's worth of positivity and happiness
    for an insult that was carried out in a matter of seconds
    i would feel the everything come all at once too
    i would feel all the problems that concerned me
    and all the problems that had nothing to do with me 
    affect me in ways that were actually kind of scary
    i would feel like throwing rocks at random things 
    and at the same time wanted to fill 100 buckets of tears as if 100 wasn't enough

    i felt so vulnerable and worthless at points in my life too
    and i'm telling you this 
    because i think it's important you know 
    that you're never alone in any battle you face
    that someone has felt exactly the way you felt
    but has achieved something good out of it
    and that you should be doing the same

    i think you're problem here is
    that you want to fix yourself but you don't know how to
    or that maybe you do know how but no longer want to 

    either way
    i can only help as much
    either way
    your family can put so much effort
    either way
    if everyone else around you will do 97% of what it would take for you to get better
    you won't ever get better without your 3% effort

    don't worry
    i think i know how to make this work
    i think i can let you do your 3% contribution so

    (let's end) this poem about you
    with who you actually are
    with who you are actually perceived as
    and with how you've been wrong about this for a long while

    you are beautiful
    you are all the beautiful little things compiled into one
    you are all the heartfelt letters the writer gave to his one and only love
    you are the face your lover chose to dream about
    because even his mind couldn't shake how you looked him in his eyes and yet told 
    him nothing but left a mark
    you are the muse being talked about in his pretty little songs
    you are the girl who will be loved like in that maroon 5 song 
    you are the girl who will get kissed in the rain like in fanfics and book plots

    you are the girl who finally saw herself as beautiful and 
    didn't need a razor or toothbrush to get herself caught into
    you are the brand new change
    the flame that ignited the candle for hope
    the new inspiration for others

    you are the changed college student
    hoping to make a mark on this world
    you are the fangirl who will no longer use music as a distraction
    but as a bridge for emotion and boost for creativity

    you are the new you
    and i can't wait for you to start becoming yourself again
    i can't wait for you to feel like you're actually who you want to be
    and you're actually who you would love to be.. 

    ... yourself and you.

    - a.f.

    -Andrea xx